I got to thinking the other day about people who lose themselves, lose their sense of self, rarely take chances, stay stuck in a rut, play it safe. If it’s ever happened to you, you know what I’m talking about.
I think this happens to both men and women as we travel into adulthood and take on more responsibilities. Responsibilities that take us away from ourselves like making a living, raising children, getting the kids off to school, taking care of bills and appointments. Somewhere we stop being “me” and end up being an extension of all sorts of people and responsibilities. We discover that we’ve lost sight of our dreams, and in the process, lost confidence in ourselves. It’s no longer clear to us that we CAN be that high school cheerleader or football player, and we begin to doubt ourselves.
On a recent Oprah show, she sought out women who had lost their sense of self, and had them participate in 3 activities they knew nothing about ahead of time. For the first activity, they put on roller skates, became a bad-ass team, and played against a professional roller derby team, getting knocked down, bruised and walloped in the process. But the women were exhilarated afterwards because they did it! They had a huge sense of accomplishment.
Next, they were taken up in an airplane to sky –dive, fear of heights and all. They were shaking, scared, crying, and lightheaded but they jumped and landed safely on the ground, once again thrilled they had faced their fears.
For the last lesson, they shed all their clothes, and ran into the cold ocean, sharing the thrill of letting down pretenses, self judgment and being naked in front of others, accepting themselves in the process.
All these women claimed they were greatly impacted by these activities, changed profoundly by these experiences, and claimed they had regained their confidence!
What will it take for you to reclaim your confidence? Each year, I make myself go waterskiing when at my parent’s cabin; for I know that once I say “no” to that activity I’ve always loved since I was young, it will be the beginning of saying “no” to things I and they become things I am afraid of.
When I turned 50, I got my motorcycle license, challenging myself to do something I’d dreamt of but had feared. I went to class that included all young men (and me) tipped my motorcycle over in front of them, dusted myself off and got right back on it. I DID learn how to ride a motorcycle. I felt accomplished and proud, and yes, it I DID boost my confidence.
The fear of falling does conflict with the thrill of soaring, but the accomplishment is so worth the effort.
What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Jane Morrison, CLC, is a small business marketing expert who works with women owned companies, teaching them how to effectively promote themselves and their business. With an improved knowledge about sales and marketing, her customers stop stressing about getting clients, finally earn the money they deserve and feel confident to achieve their dreams. With this newfound energy, they take time for themselves and what’s important to them.
Her signature program, “10 Essential Steps to Wise Women Marketing” is a powerful 3 part comprehensive program that takes you from where you are, to where you want to go!
Check out her group coaching mastermind program launching in December at http://www.smartsavvysuccess.com/boost
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