Tis the season to be lonely?

by Jane on December 22, 2009

Big bear hug

Many people are delighted and joyful this time of year, but many feel especially lonely. 

During a call with a coaching client, she expressed feeling very left out. She had been out at a holiday concert at her local school, and afterwards, noticed people greeting one another. She was not involved in that friendliness, and felt like an outsider. After talking about how sad she felt, we came up with some solutions. Loneliness can happen anytime, but  I think that feeling is more common this time of year than we know. 

Maybe  you have experienced it, I know I can certainly relate.  The media portrays these gay holiday family events and happy holiday festivities, yet holidays can be a time of feeling isolated, lonely and depressed. Some can’t wait for them be over and done with,  to be done with the expectations of wonder and joy,

Some suggestions to deal with loneliness this time of the year:

1) Don’t isolate yourself. Maybe the big parties are not your agenda, but do make an effort to call a friend for a cup of coffee or suggest seeing a movie together.

2) Be aware of others and try to reach out to those who may be feeling the same loneliness. It’s easy to get locked into our individual pain, but if you look outward, you’ll see you are not alone. 

3) Do what my client decided to do: One random act of kindness each day. She vowed to call her husband at work to say "I’m thinking about you", greet the store clerk by her name and give her a compliment, or share a friendly remark with someone else during the day. Wherever you are this holiday season, I wish you joy, health, peace, and happiness, and know you are not alone.  

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